MindDiet®

Lately I’ve been gaining a lot of fat. Not on my body. But in my mind. Smallest friction, tiniest thought challenge gets me out of breath.

Yet physically I’m in a good shape. I think. Am I? I hope. Say yes. Okay.

I’m mindful of what I eat. I do my body weight training. I go out for run regularly. Yet I feel absolutely drained.

First I thought I was burned out. So I took a break. Went on my signature escape mode. Pleasures only. Instant gratification and expect nothing else.

In the past, it did the trick. I would just wake up one day, instead of feeling hangover, I would feel cured. Magical. All my thoughts were solved. The good old 20s. I learned 30s require new tricks.

So I went on my hardcore change-it-all program. First, I changed my environment. New hotels, new resorts, new places. Then I let go of my routines and looked for new adventures. New experiences to fuel my motivation.

None worked. Regardless of what I tried, I couldn’t escape my mindset. My mindspace was crowded and I desperately needed peace.

As I ran out of my tricks and my time-off was slowly nearing the end, I decided to give up trying. The classic throw my hands up and go f*ck it all.

Everything was feeling frustrating so I decided to cut all pleasure and dive deep within. To face it all.

I deleted all my social and work apps from my phone. I kept the essentials like maps, Uber, family chat and left the phone away for the most part of the day.

No photos, no notes. Nothing to save it for later. I needed to experience the present to become awake again. To be me again.

No more escaping. No more pleasure haunting. No more exploring. No more socialising.

Just sit. Be still. Go through the motion of all thoughts. All emotions. To find the one that caused it all.

Let the answers surface i thought. And sure enough, with time, pass gate of boredom, there was a whisper. I slowly started noticing the inner dialogue. The world below the surface. The vibrations. The agitations. The dissatisfactions. The misjudgments.

It was loud. No wonder I was escaping it by jumping into the digital life. Ignoring it was just a tap away.

I realised during the time of challenge, when my life wasn’t stable and work was hectic, I picked up this habit. I filled my little pauses here and there, with my phone. Taps over thoughts.

I was burned out not by overworking. But by overconsuming.

I was overstimulating my mind. Overdosing my thoughts by junk feeding it.

Content left and right. Saving images on Pinterest. Collecting on arena. Scrolling X. Bookmarking threads. Checking IG. Liking stories. Capturing photos of moments worth remembering. Taking notes of any thought worth following. Yet I would pay no time experiencing them in the moment.

Fear of missing out was high and I was an addict. High all the time. Wanting for more every second.

All those dopamine chasing behaviors made me fall below my thoughts. The state where you identify with every thought that passes your mind and the nightmare that it comes with. You become what you think. You are what you feel. Everything feels permanent. Nothing passes by. You are locked in. And the escape is just a tap away. Tap tap tap. Scroll. Scroll. Scroll.

And with everyday that passed by, I missed my old life. My presence in the real life. Being above the thought and watching the stream move by. The peaceful break by the river. The touch of wind on my skin. The sound of birds. The life in reality. I felt trapped digitally. Human mind trapped in a cyborg body. The future was now.

Fear of missing out in the digital life is a hidden addiction. A quiet drug that gets loud over time. So loud that you lose your inner voice. And little by little, your purpose gets fragmented and you lose your path. And gradually, sure enough, you lose yourself.

One day you come to your senses and feel like everything is a losing battle. Nothing brings you joy. Even though your life is full of blessings. Everything you worked for was here. Yet you are gone. So you put the blame on yourself. A self image of a puzzle that doesn’t fit the rest.

I wonder how many creative people feel this way. The sensitive souls, the intelligent minds drugged by the algorithm of today, rubbing them out of their senses.

It’s not a bad life. It’s a bad habit. And your digital life needs diet.

Get on a MindDiet® — Fight the calories of todays algorithm to remain above the thought.

So you can spend your life enjoying the reality, not the digital copy of it.

Be still.
The answers you are chasing are within.

🫡