sometimes it’s better refrain from deep introspection and allow yourself to just be.

and by that I mean: I don’t have to sit with myself and overthink and analyze and rationalize every ounce of my being. I am not a case study I am a person. faults and all. like any other person. sometimes I have to look at my mistakes and avoid self flagellation. sigh and learn what I can and move on. remember that I am living, and this is part of the process. free myself of that inner critic. allow myself to be, and try again.

instagram

(-)
-narrowly conveyed self, thoughts, ideas, concepts. warped and compacted into easily-digestible form. over-simplification, loss of nuance. dimensionality inherently flattened.
-informs our sense of identity as something to be consumable.
-even when ppl refute the surface-level/mainstream use of instagram with radical “authenticity” “honesty” “transparency”/ an instagram ~anti- aesthetic~, it will always be a façade. distillation and curation.
-a simplified channel in which to pour our energy, attention, time, creativity, and sense of self. what would it look like to let that channel dry up and reroute into other mediums? what previously unimaginable things could emerge, evolve?
-giving others immediate access to (a version of) ourselves. what is the cost of being so easily digitally perceived, accessible, explored, influenced?
-actions become social-media oriented; curated to be ~shown~, palatable. rather than existing and growing organically, in reality.
-AKA deriving more pleasure from SHOWING OURSELVES DOING than ACTUALLY DOING. digital exhibitionism.
-our dislikes are amplified (/unfairly created). easier to project upon others when we experience a distant, distorted, contrived version of them. we see what we want to see.
-remain tethered to people from our past. it’s alluring to keep open the possibility of deeper connection. but sometimes connection remains merely because of etiquette to mutually “follow”; insulting and invalidating if rejected in that assumption.
-affirmation to ourselves that we exist, via being seen and interacted with by others. who am i if i am not constantly proclaiming that i exist? (ego-driven). methodically thrusting ourselves into the minds of others whenever we want. indulging in the validations, comforts, thrills, implications of that proclamation. while simultaneously feeling indefinitely anxious/anticipatory of certain peoples' acceptance or validation (quality), or "enough" of it (quantity). paradoxically fills and drains us.
-may foster connectivity but simultaneously breeds comparison, jealousy
-the most beautiful things that have happened in my life have not remotely occurred on or via social media. why play into creating and winning these crumbs of dopamine and validation? it’s such a weak, artificial thread of “happiness”/satisfaction. it isn’t real.

(+)
-"connectivity"
-allows access into people's lives (???)

Relationships are generative, as in: people will unearth certain traits or ideas that you might not even consciously know that you contain. Some minds are extremely generative when they come into contact with yours. Spending time with them unlocks emergent properties. E.g., In a good conversation, upon being asked good questions, you can go farther/deeper into an idea than simply ruminating alone. Same thing applies with a good partner or good friends, your journeys are enriched by each other’s directional force.